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Tuesday, July 26, 2011

It was gecko, in the shower, with the razor.

I nearly died in my shower today. And whats more is that for those of you who really know me...you know this isn't the first time. Let me explain.

Rewind a couple of weeks. I came home one evening to an intruder. I named him Charlie. He was a common household gecko hanging out on my ceiling. When I was younger my grandmother found a couple of them in her house and took them to some bug expert. The verdict was that they are harmless...they're fairly common and they eat bugs. Hello...anything that eats bugs is welcome in my house. So, when I first found Charlie, we sat down and had a glass of wine together and I went to bed. Actually, I sat down and had a glass of wine while Charlie stayed frozen in one place on my ceiling. This is an actual picture of him I took that night. (In real life Charlie is only about 2 inches from head to tail.)






Turns out Charlie wasn't a fan of flash photography, or me for that matter...and when I woke up he was gone. Out of sight out of mind, right?

Wrong.

Charlie found a new home. Wanna know where? My shower. This morning after a fairly traumatic day yesterday (another story for another time) I was taking my shower and shaving my legs. Thats when Charlie made his appearance. As I'm bent down shaving, he scrambled from under my shampoo bottle towards my foot. Thus, how I nearly died. I nearly cut my leg off (dramatic? maybe.) and I nearly passed out and hit my head. Instead I screamed like a banshee, threw my razor and hopped out of the shower ass naked and dripping wet...still screaming. (Sidenote...my attack dog was a big help during this. She looked up from her bed like its everyday her mom is naked, wet and screaming, and laid back down. Jerk.)

Apparently when I screamed, Charlie got scared and passed out. He stopped scrambling, froze, and started drifting towards the drain. This is where I admit I'm evil and I used a glob of toilet paper to pick Charlie up and flush him down the toilet.

So, lets recap...had I actually died, they could have made a game of "Clue" out of me.

It was the Gecko

In the shower

With the razor.

It suffices to say my shower wasn't the same after that.

Oh, and to all of Charlies friends? Let this be a lesson.






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