Just what every parent wants...Justin Bieber in their child's mouth...

Get your dirty minds out of the gutter. Its a toothbrush...quite the opposite of what you were thinking, I'm sure. I came across this little gem at CVS today. *Just a reminder...as of yesterday only one shopping month left before my birthday...and I prefer the purple toothbrush* This made me laugh. Hard. In what world do we live in when a little (lets be honest...the kid barely clears the 5'6" mark) boy singer can conquer the toothbrush market with his singing toothbrushes??? I did some light stalking/research online and it turns out he has an entire LINE! There are also non-singing toothbrushes, floss, and a handy little bag to put it all in so that your Justin Bieber theme in your bathroom isn't disturbed.

In my opinion, this toothbrush joins the ranks of other "dubious" toys. Which include, but are not limited to:

Homeless American girl..."there's a new kid on the block: Gwen Thompson, who literally lives on the street. Gwen's story starts with a deadbeat dad who walks out on the family, leaving her single mom struggling to get by"

Breastfeeding doll..."Dolls that realistically close their eyes, bottle-feed and even wet themselves have long been a staple of the toy world. But Spanish company Berjuan has gone a bit too far with Bebé Glotón, the breast-feeding doll. Parents (shockingly) aren't fond of the bizarre doll, intended for girls ages 8 to 10, which comes with a halter-top-like bra that girls can put on and pretend to nurse with — complete with flowerlike nipples that make a loud suckling sound."

TSA Play set..."Why let your kids play with toys that encourage their wildest flights of fancy when you can teach them the joys of standing in line and following rules? For a cool $58, you can bring your kids up to speed on airport-security regulations imposed in the fearful wake of 9/11."

And my personal favorite...Harry Potter Vibrating broom..."Well, this was one way to keep Harry Potter fans interested as they grew up. Modeled after Harry's first broom, Mattel's now discontinued battery-operated Nimbus 2000 featured a grooved stick and handle for kids who wanted to ride it around the house. The dubious part: it vibrated."For the full list, and to see where I got the descriptions of the toys...please visit http://www.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,1927306_1927313_1927315,00.html

Dear Blog...

Dear Blog,
Its not you, its me. I realize that our relationship has hit a couple of speedbumps. Life has happened...jobs are about to change...and I've been overall pretty freaking stressed out. But this is my promise to you...I WILL find something humorous to blog about this week. You just wait.

Spoiled?? No...

Its a well known fact that Lucy is a tad bit spoiled. I admit that maybe...just maybe...I give her too many toys and treats and such. This fact was never more apparent than it was today. I got a new purse (YAY!) today. I brought it home and partook in my favorite part of getting a new purse...switching the contents of the old purse into the new purse. The purse I got is a super cute over sized satchel. When I was in the store, I remembered noticing that it came with a detachable strap. As I'm switching things out, I'm sitting on the living room floor thinking to myself, "I know I saw the strap...I didn't imagine that...WHERE is it???" Meanwhile...I'm oblivious to what actually happened. Apparently, The Lucinator saw me bring a bag in and immediately assumed that the contents were a gift for her. So...when the strap fell out of the purse Lucille decided it was a gift for her, carted it across the living room and proceeded to chew on it.
I've created a monster.
Pictured below...The Lucinator with her purse strap toy...please notice the abundance of real dog toys in the background...

Lucy's Request

Meet Lucy,

Lucy is my faithful little companion. She also goes by: Lucyfur, The Lucinator, Lulubelle, Lucille, and B-Lo. Throughout the wedding planning process she's been very accommodating...however...she's made one request. The one thing she wants to register for is this dog bed:



I promised her I would put it out there for people to have the option :)

It was gecko, in the shower, with the razor.

I nearly died in my shower today. And whats more is that for those of you who really know me...you know this isn't the first time. Let me explain.

Rewind a couple of weeks. I came home one evening to an intruder. I named him Charlie. He was a common household gecko hanging out on my ceiling. When I was younger my grandmother found a couple of them in her house and took them to some bug expert. The verdict was that they are harmless...they're fairly common and they eat bugs. Hello...anything that eats bugs is welcome in my house. So, when I first found Charlie, we sat down and had a glass of wine together and I went to bed. Actually, I sat down and had a glass of wine while Charlie stayed frozen in one place on my ceiling. This is an actual picture of him I took that night. (In real life Charlie is only about 2 inches from head to tail.)

Turns out Charlie wasn't a fan of flash photography, or me for that matter...and when I woke up he was gone. Out of sight out of mind, right?

Wrong.

Charlie found a new home. Wanna know where? My shower. This morning after a fairly traumatic day yesterday (another story for another time) I was taking my shower and shaving my legs. Thats when Charlie made his appearance. As I'm bent down shaving, he scrambled from under my shampoo bottle towards my foot. Thus, how I nearly died. I nearly cut my leg off (dramatic? maybe.) and I nearly passed out and hit my head. Instead I screamed like a banshee, threw my razor and hopped out of the shower ass naked and dripping wet...still screaming. (Sidenote...my attack dog was a big help during this. She looked up from her bed like its everyday her mom is naked, wet and screaming, and laid back down. Jerk.)

Apparently when I screamed, Charlie got scared and passed out. He stopped scrambling, froze, and started drifting towards the drain. This is where I admit I'm evil and I used a glob of toilet paper to pick Charlie up and flush him down the toilet.

So, lets recap...had I actually died, they could have made a game of "Clue" out of me.

It was the Gecko

In the shower

With the razor.

It suffices to say my shower wasn't the same after that.

Oh, and to all of Charlies friends? Let this be a lesson.

Driving...according to Katie.

Micheal doesn't like to ride with me. He says I yell too much, I'm too defensive, and that I'm "going to get us shot and killed." That's a pretty bold statement from someone who's job is primarily on the east side. Maybe I am a wee bit aggressive...and maybe I did inherit some of that "Russian Temper." However, the fact remains that there are some shitty drivers out there.


I don't think its so much the "drivers" that bother me...I think its the driver's habits. A few of the following scenarios are my favorite:


The "Hurry up and get to the four-way-stop so that I can beat you" Guy- We all know this guy. They're the people that pause a zillion feet back from the stop sign and then fly into the intersection with a smug look on their face. I hate you. Along those lines is the "hurry up and get to the four-way stop so that I can beat you and then go really slow" guy. Working close to the hospital like I do...there is an abundance of older people. This is one of their favorite moves. There is nothing I love more in this world than getting trapped behind a 15mph senior-mobile. I know this is ugly. And I know it will be me one day...but for right now...I age about 10 years override I drive home from work.


Next is the "erratic driver." Hey kids...guess what...there's this neat-o control on your car called cruise control. Learn it. Love it. Use it. This person is famous both in town and on the highways. Their speed usually varies 15-20 mph within a 1-2 mile range. For the love of all that is good in this world...use your cruise control. These people are especially fun to get behind on 2-lane highways. Because they're usually the people that as soon as they sense your intention to pass them...fly off at the speed of light. They make me crazy.


My personal favorite is the "I'm a princess, so I drive in the left hand lane whenever I feel like it." In the state of Texas, if you are caught driving in the passing lane on the highway for an extended period of time, they can give you a ticket. Does this deter people? Nooooo. I firmly believe that unless you get in the left hand lane to slow down and make a left turn on a cross street...I as a driver in the right hand lane should NEVER be going faster than you. Its called the passing lane for a reason, ding dong. The most frustrating incidence of this is when the stars align and this person meets up with the person in the right hand lane, and goes their speed. This creates a "parade" effect because NO ONE can get around either one of them. There has been more than one occasion that this has made me consider keeping candy in the car to throw at people like I'm the main float in a parade.


This has been a super duper informative lesson in driving by Katie. Next time we will cover WalMart etiquette. :)

I'm easily pleased

I have come to terms with the fact that I am easily pleased. Honestly, it doesn't take much to bring a smile to my face. That being said...the following are a few things that I'm so excited about...I just had to share!
First and foremost...
Holy cow...I have been obsessed with these books for awhile now...and when I saw the new poster the other day...it made me want to re-read the books!!! (Sidenote...if I was a good blogger I would have been able to put the poster with the moving flame-y things...but I'm not. So. Deal with it). Honestly...if you haven't read these books you're missing out!! Pick them up and thank me later!

Secondly...While perusing local job openings...I found this:

Yeah...Lubbock is getting a White House Black Market...HELL YES!!!!!!!!!! I fell in love with this store a few years ago while visiting family in San Antonio...and I've been dying to have a local one ever since! Unlike some perfectly proportioned people...I can't shop online with them...in fact...I rarely shop online for clothing. It never ends well. And if I'm being truthful sometimes it ends in tears and wine. So...you can understand why I am so freaking excited we are getting one!!!!

And last...but not least:

I am so ready for cooler weather. A girl with my internal thermostat and mass of hair on my head can only take so many 100+ heat indexes in a row. (I might be a little biased...fall is my favorite season of the year) but the fact remains that I am ready to not wake up sweating during the night, get in my car and without wondering if I'm going to suffocate, and not have to make decisions about hairstyles based on how long I will have to be outside with hair sticking to the back of my neck. Gross. But true.